A Broken Habit

I have always been a firm believer in developing habits in living for God.  I learned long ago that there are going to be days in my walk with God that I will need to fall back on pure, rote, habit.  Prayer, Bible reading, going to the altar, attending church...those are all things that I strive to do so consistently that to NOT do them would cause mass confusion in my world.  Because when life turns upside down and I'm in the heat of battle, that's not the time when I need to also be struggling to decide if I really want to go to church today, or if I have the time to pray.  Those things are just part of the day.

With that said, there is a critical spiritual “habit” that is often overlooked.  A person comes to church, and regardless of if that is a new habit or a long-standing one...that’s GREAT!  That’s the first step toward gaining the strength and joy that comes from gathering in the House of God.  But, once you get to church, you have to open the door to your emotions, your mind, and your heart and let God begin to work.  And that, my friends, is very much a habit, and one that too many of us neglect. 

On the surface, the idea of breaking down our barriers and letting God work in our lives doesn’t sound too bad, but for most of us, when it comes right down to it, this is a little harder than it would appear.  As a matter of fact, for many new comers and faithful saints alike, this is an area we either battle horribly, or simply refuse to deal with.  Why?  For any number of reasons.  First, remember that letting God touch our hearts comes in a variety of forms. In some services, it means rejoicing…and that’s usually the easiest to deal with.  In other services, it can come as conviction about something we need to change, while at still other times God would call us to surrender our will and desires to His and accept His direction for our lives.  Sometimes, He would call us to bring wounds to Him and allow Him to heal them, while other days He would offer comfort for our deepest heartaches.  Those things sound wonderful – a loving God willing to help and heal and guide.  But, when it comes to actually letting God work in those areas of our lives is when we usually balk, because it requires us to become uncomfortable.  We feel silly crying, or rejoicing in church, so we do just enough to not look like a bump on a log, but not enough to feel awkward. Conviction is unpleasant and we instinctively want to self-justify it away to avoid both the blow to our pride and facing the need to change.  When it’s time to surrender our will to His, we begin to discover fears of what that will require of us. We know those fears are unreasonable, but they are still very real, and we are both embarrassed and afraid to even tell God about them, let alone let Him do anything with them.  When it is time to bring our wounds and heartaches to Him, we suddenly fear that we won’t like the “cure,” or we simply have become so adept at not letting anyone or anything bump the “sore spot” that we don’t want to let God touch it either.   So, we come to church, and we get some good from it, but we don’t ever quite relinquish our control and let God do everything He wants and needs to do.  We don’t go the altar, even when we know we should.  We pray, but we don’t pray very deeply – we make sure our focus stays just a little bit on watching our toddler, filling out a tithe envelope, or even just what his happening around us in the service so we don’t ever quite make it to the point of really facing God.  To be completely honest, for most, this careful network of distraction is often so masked in things that seem “important” that we rarely consciously face the fact that we are using them to hide from God.

And as time goes on, staying just a little bit away from the fullness of God’s presence becomes a habit, and the small distractions we engage in become the norm.  Over time, the distance between us and our Lord grows, but so slowly that we never notice.  Weeks go by, then months, sometimes years.  And then one day we realize we no longer have the foggiest idea how to truly get to God, or in some cases, we have been coming to church and have NEVER really let God have free reign to do whatever He wants in our lives.

The wonderful news is that God’s mercy is new every morning. When you decide you are willing to come into His presence and allow everything inside to break, and let the great God of Heaven who loves you do whatever He desires to do in your heart and life, He is waiting and willing.  But you built the walls, so you have to tear them down.  And that begs the question:  how do you tear down walls you cannot physically see or touch?  The answer is simple - have an honest conversation with Him.  He already sees and knows every thought we have, so being honest with Him is for OUR benefit, not His.  The more we lay open before Him, the more He can help.  So start talking.  And during the conversation, refuse to be distracted by anything for any reason.  Let someone else take care of the toddler for a while, pay the tithes after church, let someone else pray with others in the altar...whatever the distractions may be, they have to wait.  You will find that when you are intentional and persistent about reaching out to God with an open heart, He will be more than gracious in helping you get rid of that wall.  And once you get it torn down, it’s time to start a new habit of being consistently vulnerable with God.  And the longer you do it, the easier it gets, until you find that it’s far harder to walk out of the House of God WITHOUT letting Him help you than it is to shy away from His presence, because breaking has become a habit.

Everyday Happenings

“It’s those small everyday happenings that make life so spectacular.”  

I have no idea who originated that quote, but it is a favorite of mine.  I am a firm believer in looking for the little things and smiling about them, because small events can have a huge impact on my life.  But while little reasons to smile can have a big effect, I have also learned that it is those small everyday happenings that MAKE life spectacular.  It’s the choice to buy my husband a jar of green olives stuffed with blue cheese at the grocery store thereby making him smile because he knows I thought of him while I was shopping…and making him smile for that split second today adds a bit of sweetness and strength to my marriage.  It is stopping to pray today even when I have other things that are pressing on my mind that builds up my walk with God.  It is choosing to slow down and talk to my mom when my brain says race off to finish my chores that adds depth to my family relationships.  It is choosing to clean the kitchen instead of giving in to my desire to crash on the couch that adds sparkle and cheer to my home.  And when I stop to look at the big picture, I realize that those small choices have built a solid spiritual foundation, a strong, loving marriage, a lovely, relaxing home, wonderful relationships with my family and mother-in-law…and when all of that is put together, it is a spectacular life.  Not a life without struggle, but beautiful and wonderful nonetheless, and entirely the result of each day’s small happenings.

Good Try...Real Good Try

The man and his wife came in and sat down.  As the first songs were played a sweet move of the Spirit of God began to sweep through the congregation.  Saints raised their hands in worship, some clapped, and still others rejoiced in dancing.  The man and his wife sat perfectly still, but they were not unaffected.  Slowly a tear trickled down the man’s face.  His wife sniffed.  Another tear followed the first one.  She reached for a tissue.  Soon both were crying in earnest as the Presence of God tugged at their hearts, drawing them toward Him.  The worship service came to an end, the Pastor read his text and began to preach.  He preached the Word of God in love and sincerity, desperately trying to reach the man and his wife.  The couple’s tears had not abated, rather they cried through the entire sermon.  When the Pastor had preached everything he felt like God had asked him to say, he invited everyone that would to come to the front and pray.  The man sat rigidly, hands gripping the pew in front of him so hard his knuckles were white as he fought the urge to go forward and give his heart to God.  For the next half an hour as others around them prayed and responded to the Word of God, the man and his wife sat stubbornly refusing to move.  Finally, the service was over, the conviction lifted, the tears all dried.  The man approached the Pastor, his brother, and said, "Good try, Robby.  Real good try…but not quite good enough.” 

When I heard the Pastor relay this story several years after it took place, you could still see the heartache in his eyes, still read the “Did I do enough?” questions in his facial expression, and still see the frustration at seeing his brother come so close to turning his life over to God…and yet it wasn’t quite good enough.  As I pondered his words I realized that while it hurt horribly for the Pastor personally, the reality was that his brother really hadn't been addressing him that day.  Sure, he thought he was, but for all practical purposes his statement had been, “Good try, God.  Real good try…but not quite good enough.”  Because while it was the Pastor whose mouth did the preaching, it was the almighty God who was gently reaching, wooing, and calling this man and his wife.  He was doing His very best to draw them to Himself so He could give them a wonderful life that was sweeter than any they had ever known.  But alas!  The man decided that God’s best wasn’t quite good enough for him.

Sadly, this man is not alone.  For some it seems that Calvary was a good try, but the sacrifice He made isn’t good enough for them, and certainly not sufficient to merit a change in lifestyle.  He reaches for them, but the gentle drawing of His Presence just isn’t sweet enough to pull them to an altar.  He offers them a good marriage and a strong family serving Him together, but that doesn’t compare to a life in the world with its many lovers and great entertainment.  God presents a clean life free of addiction, promiscuity, and emptiness, but somehow that seems lackluster when compared to the thrills of sin.  He promises them Heaven, but Heaven dulls in comparison to the appeal of living according to one’s own desires.  Yes, God offers us His very best, and for some it’s a good try…but not quite good enough.

For some who choose to spurn God’s best the consequences will only be seen in eternity, when they are done living life the way they want to live it and death claims them unprepared.  For others their lives will meet shipwreck, leaving them empty and hurting and wondering where they went wrong.  For this man his decision would cost him his children – one would die of a drug overdose and the other would face intense struggles with addiction among other things.  I have often wondered if he stood at the grave of his child and wished he had allowed God’s offer to be good enough when his children were young enough to be shown a better path.

The great God of Heaven loves us enough to offer each of us salvation that He paid for with His own blood.  It’s up to us to choose to accept that offer…or callously say, “Good try, God, but not quite good enough.”

Note:  The story above is true.  I changed the names to avoid ready identification of the people involved.

Respect

As promised (but a little later than planned), here is another short "blurb" post.

In recent months I have become troubled by a trend I am observing.  You see, I am quickly developing a grave concern over the lack of respect I see in “little” things.  Things like…

•          Kids running laughing and shrieking through the Sanctuary before and after church (and in some cases, during church)
•          Children who don’t stand and offer an adult their chair when there are not enough seats in the room
•          Adults who think it is funny when little kids say things like, “Shut up, Old Man” to their grandparents or other adults
•          Congregations who don’t show respect to the Word of God by standing for the reading of the Scripture text
•          Eating snacks (when you are over the age of 3) and drinking soda during church
•          Children who are baptized and then splash and play in the baptistery as though it were a swimming pool
•          People who laugh and talk the ENTIRE church service, completely disconnected from what God is trying to do
•          The titles Brother, Sister, Mister and Misses have dropped from our vocabulary and those of our children

Maybe I’m a little old fashioned…but I can’t help but believe we would be better served by teaching our kids these (and a few other) basic facets of respect.  They lay a foundation for the overall respect for authority, our elders, God, and His Word that will be required for them to successfully navigate life and a walk with God.

The Curse of the Silver Spoon

(This is an article I had posted several years ago with a few edits and updates.)

One of my favorite areas of working in a church is discipleship.  I don’t care if it’s a new convert or one of our teenagers, I thrive on spending time with them and helping them develop a foundation that will stand the test of time.  Having done a fair amount of this through the years, I am acutely aware of the careful nurturing that is required during those early days of living for God.  That said, I fear too often, we choose to raise our young people with a spiritual silver spoon in their mouths.  We are so focused on sparing them the scars the world can inflict, that we begin trying to provide them with a luxurious spiritual environment where living for God is easy, falling in love with Jesus comes naturally, and for the devil to get to them he has to cross a deep mote guarded by protective saints armed with the Word of God. 

In our efforts to “nurture” them, we offer them the best we can.  We put them in Sunday School as soon as they are out of diapers, we provide the best children’s church possible, then we put them in a youth class until they are in their early 20s.  We believe that we are giving them our best…we are providing years of solid teaching so that they can hide the Word of God in their hearts…and it will sustain them through the hard days.  We want them to be used of God, so we ask them to be praise singers and sometimes even musicians…but we carefully schedule it so they are involved infrequently, allowing them to spend the majority of their time absorbing the presence of God and worshipping unhindered, thereby ensuring they have time to touch God and fall in love with Him.  We believe fellowship with other Godly young people is important so we don’t expect them to be on the church cleaning list, help set up or clean up church dinners, or help with the work involved in youth events…they are just kids, and we would rather the adults do the menial tasks so the youth can fellowship.

But alas! I fear that by offering them the “best,” they never have to work for their walk with God.  I have heard so many Apostolic parents say, “I’m not buying my kid a car.  They will appreciate it more if they have to work for it.”  And yet, when it comes to walking with God, they fail to let that principle apply.  The truth is, a relationship with God is going to mean more to a young person if they have to invest in it.  Sunday School is great…but at what point do we expect our youth to begin transitioning from takers to givers - learners to teachers?  I don’t mean just helping do a skit sometimes…when do they truly get involved.  I would propose to you today that teaching Sunday School at a young age is one of the best gifts you can give a young person.  By the time they have studied and prepared for that class, poured their heart into teaching it, and then watched one of “their” kids get the Holy Ghost this truth will be deeply ingrained in them.

I am a firm believer in giving your musicians, singers, interpreters, etc a break.  If there is nobody that can rotate with them, require that they attend conferences each year.  Having said that, I have been a full-time musician since the age of 14.  It is coming in service after service after service after service…knowing that there is no break…and that if I need something from God I’m going to have to figure out how to get it WHILE I play an instrument, teach a class, interpret, etc…that taught me how to push past the obstacles and touch God.  Yes, everyone needs a service or altar call off from time to time, but we also need to teach them how to use what they are doing for God as a form of worship and to push their way into the Presence of God.

I am all for fellowship and Godly friends…but there is a personal pride in the house of God being clean, a smoothly planned event, or a fun trip that comes only when you have helped make it happen.  If we don’t require our youth to be involved in this, we deprive them not only of the life lesson in responsibility, but also the joy in seeing a job well done. 

I love our young people…I want to see them live for God more than anything else in this world.  But after looking at my past, visiting with some others who have had to hang on to Jesus with everything in them, and then watching the youth that we have so carefully protected and nurtured, I am convinced that the greatest favor we can do them is to take the silver spoon away and let them dive headfirst into the work of God.

True Repentance

Over the next few weeks I will be posting some short "blurbs" that have been on my mind for a while. I fear they are likely to be heavy reading, but hopefully short and sweet will counter balance that a little. Thanks for stopping by.

Repentance:     
1.deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.     
2. regret for any past action.
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/repentance 

We talk about repentance as turning from sin...and in the process we often forget that it includes Godly sorrow for sin. Usually the two go hand in hand, but sometimes we end up with one and not the other. The most obvious form of that is someone who is sorry for the sin, but not enough to turn from it. But what about the person who stops sinning but isn't really sorry for what they have already done?

For instance, you are absolutely dying to go tell your best friend what you heard about "So-and-So". You know it's gossip, but you tell her anyway. Doing so relieves your pent-up need to talk about it and so you "stop gossiping" because you know to continue spreading it wouldn't be pleasing to God...but you aren't really sorry about telling it the first time.

That is a super simplistic example, but I hope it demonstrates the point - we need to be very careful that we don't allow ourselves to fall into the dangerous pit of being willing to stop doing something displeasing to God without being sorry we did it in the first place. For it to be true repentance that will elicit God's forgiveness it must include both the Godly sorrow and the turning from sin.

Effective Altar Working

As a generational Pentecostal who grew up around “altar calls” I have had opportunity to witness many different methods to working the altar, but probably more important than my random observations have been my experiences.  As a child I sought the Holy Ghost for some 3 years, and in that time I encountered a large number of altar workers.  All of them were well-meaning, but I will readily admit that some were helpful and some were far from it.  Based on those experiences and subsequent observations I have compiled some practical guidelines to altar work that I hope will answer questions and give direction to those who wish to be an effective altar worker.  Under no circumstances am I attempting to be rude or condescending in my comments, but rather to put altar work into a sometimes humorous but at all times logical perspective.  As you read the rest of this post, keep in mind that praying at the altar is a very special time for a person to have a heart-to-heart conversation with the great God of Heaven, and for many, it will be their first ever conversation with that God.  With that in focus, here are a few “rules of thumb” to use when praying with someone else.

1.       Don’t talk to them unnecessarily.  There are rare times when you will feel a strong prompting to say something specific to someone who is praying and in that instance, by all means say it.  There will also be times when you need to give them brief practical instructions that I will talk about in #8.  But as a general rule, don’t talk to them.  They don’t need you to tell them, “Worship God!  Say, ‘Hallelujah!”  “Tell Him how much you love Him!”  or “He hears you if you will just talk to Him!” unless they are clearly stuck.    They are there to talk to God and let God talk to them – and when you talk to them you interrupt that conversation. 

2.       Don’t be overly “physical.”  A hand on their shoulder to let them know you are there and supporting them is great, but don’t rub their back, push, shove, touch their face, or anything else that would be potentially distracting.  Again, this is a conversation they are having with God.  If you were having a deeply emotional conversation with another person you wouldn’t want someone to walk up in the middle of it and begin to to forcibly rock you from side to side, give you a massage, pat your face, or any number of other things people tend to do when praying with others in the altar.  Consider your actions and if what you are planning to do could potentially distract them, don’t do it.

3.       Understand the need.  Keep in mind that, as often as not, the point of working the altar is for the person to know there are others who are still praying and who are supporting them while they pray.  Toward that end, be aware of the need and respond accordingly.  If someone is seeking the Holy Ghost, worship!  The presence of God that comes down as a result of your worship will do what no amount of encouraging, shaking, yelling, or anything else will do.  If someone has an unknown need and is at the altar alone, you can pray for them, but when you finish talking to God about them, stay nearby and just keep praying so they don’t feel like the center of attention.  If a sinner comes to the altar for the first time, don’t tell them how to repent or how to pray – get close enough for them to hear you and start repenting and surrendering your life to God.  No, I’m not suggesting you fake it – there is never a time we can’t all use a time of fresh repentance and consecration.

4.       Pray – don’t stare.  Altar working is not about staring at someone while they pray.  You are there to help usher them into the presence of God and to bind together with them in unity.  The best thing you can possibly do to help someone is to pray.  Pray for them, keep a hand on their shoulder while you pray for your Great-Aunt Bertha, repent out loud, worship…do whatever is appropriate for the circumstances, but remember that staring at them is NEVER the right choice.

5.       Be aware of kids and direct them constructively.  We all want our kids to be involved and learn to live for God from a young age, but that doesn’t change the fact that an unsupervised child can hinder an altar call.  Just because we are excited that Little Suzie wants to pray for people doesn’t mean Little Suzie putting her hand on the person’s derriere (because that’s all short Little Suzie can reach) isn’t distracting.  If a child wants to be involved, pull them over to you and help them put a hand on the person’s arm or have them hold your hand while you pray for the person.  Also note that if the person praying is suffering from demonic oppression or possession, children should be removed from the altar area.  There is no reason to subject innocent children to that situation.

6.       Make it easy to go to the altar.  I recently heard a Pastor instructing his saints to go to the altar in waves and it made a lot of sense.  A few saints need to open the altar – the altar isn’t a place that only horrible, dirty, rotten sinners go and when some saints make the first move to the altar they communicate that concept.  But in many cases a sinner will hesitate before moving forward and if everyone has already gone up front they feel like they have missed their chance.  If others have “opened” the altar, wait a few minutes and then move forward.  Those extra few moments are also a great opportunity to notice anyone who might be praying at their seat and need encouragement.

7.       Let yourself be heard!  Nobody wants to feel like the whole church is waiting for them to stop praying, even if that is indeed the case.  So pray and do it out loud.  Even if the musicians are helping by playing and singing, the sound of another person seeking God is encouraging and helpful.  Please note that praying out loud does not mean praying loudly – you don’t need to scream in their ear, but make sure you can be heard enough for them to know they are not alone.

8.       Be logical.  Yes, prayer is a spiritual experience, but it happens in our very human bodies.  And what happens to and around someone praying DOES have an impact.  Toward that end, consider what will make them the most comfortable physically, especially if they are praying for a prolonged period.  I have already addressed not being distracting with unnecessary touch, but let me offer a few other thoughts on how to help reduce distractions.  Again, please remember that I speak from experience…and with a dry sense of humor.
- If they are crying, get them a few tissues and press it into their hand.  DO NOT wipe their nose for them.  They are probably not so lost in the Spirit as to be unaware of things such as snot, tears, and tissues.  Trust me when I tell you they DO know that someone is swiping at their bodily fluids and it IS distracting and embarrassing. 
- If they are hot, find a fan.
- Let them put their arms down.  I can remember nights when my shoulders screamed in pain after an hour of prayer because some well-meaning soul would repeatedly grab the hands I tried to lower and force them back into the air, and then leave me to try to keep them up.  God is not limited by whether or not someone has their hands raised, so let them do as they wish with their hands.
- If someone is determined to keep their hands up for a prolonged period of time, grab an arm and support it.  And if you are going to hold an arm up, do it firmly.  DON’T put a couple limp fingers under their elbow – that provides no support and therefore no physical relief. 
- Let them know they are free to do whatever makes them comfortable and to change position at any time.  They can receive what they need from God sitting, standing, kneeling, laying on the floor, or running laps around the building.  But odds are good that they won’t receive what they need if they are focused on excruciating pain from being in an uncomfortable position for a long time.
- If they do choose to stand when they have been sitting or kneeling, there is no reason whatsoever to insist that they continue to pray and keep their hands in the air while they awkwardly try to get on their feet with the assistance of well-meaning altar workers tugging and pulling on them.  If they want to change position, turn them loose and let them readjust.  They can go back to praying and raise their hands again when they are more comfortable.

9.       Don’t touch their head.  Unless your pastor has specifically freed you to do so, don’t touch their head.  As a general rule this should be reserved for the ministry.  There are a variety of reasons for this, but from a purely practical standpoint, it is uncomfortable for most to have a lot of people in their personal space and touching their face.

10.   DO IT!  We all have various gifts and talents, but there is not a single person who cannot be an effective altar worker, because in reality, all it takes is being willing to stand or kneel near someone and talk to God.  That’s it.  There is a powerful move of God available when saints of the Most High bind together with one another and talk to Him with and for each other, but we have to make the effort to see it happen.  So do it – make a habit of praying with others and see what God will do.