A Broken Habit

I have always been a firm believer in developing habits in living for God.  I learned long ago that there are going to be days in my walk with God that I will need to fall back on pure, rote, habit.  Prayer, Bible reading, going to the altar, attending church...those are all things that I strive to do so consistently that to NOT do them would cause mass confusion in my world.  Because when life turns upside down and I'm in the heat of battle, that's not the time when I need to also be struggling to decide if I really want to go to church today, or if I have the time to pray.  Those things are just part of the day.

With that said, there is a critical spiritual “habit” that is often overlooked.  A person comes to church, and regardless of if that is a new habit or a long-standing one...that’s GREAT!  That’s the first step toward gaining the strength and joy that comes from gathering in the House of God.  But, once you get to church, you have to open the door to your emotions, your mind, and your heart and let God begin to work.  And that, my friends, is very much a habit, and one that too many of us neglect. 

On the surface, the idea of breaking down our barriers and letting God work in our lives doesn’t sound too bad, but for most of us, when it comes right down to it, this is a little harder than it would appear.  As a matter of fact, for many new comers and faithful saints alike, this is an area we either battle horribly, or simply refuse to deal with.  Why?  For any number of reasons.  First, remember that letting God touch our hearts comes in a variety of forms. In some services, it means rejoicing…and that’s usually the easiest to deal with.  In other services, it can come as conviction about something we need to change, while at still other times God would call us to surrender our will and desires to His and accept His direction for our lives.  Sometimes, He would call us to bring wounds to Him and allow Him to heal them, while other days He would offer comfort for our deepest heartaches.  Those things sound wonderful – a loving God willing to help and heal and guide.  But, when it comes to actually letting God work in those areas of our lives is when we usually balk, because it requires us to become uncomfortable.  We feel silly crying, or rejoicing in church, so we do just enough to not look like a bump on a log, but not enough to feel awkward. Conviction is unpleasant and we instinctively want to self-justify it away to avoid both the blow to our pride and facing the need to change.  When it’s time to surrender our will to His, we begin to discover fears of what that will require of us. We know those fears are unreasonable, but they are still very real, and we are both embarrassed and afraid to even tell God about them, let alone let Him do anything with them.  When it is time to bring our wounds and heartaches to Him, we suddenly fear that we won’t like the “cure,” or we simply have become so adept at not letting anyone or anything bump the “sore spot” that we don’t want to let God touch it either.   So, we come to church, and we get some good from it, but we don’t ever quite relinquish our control and let God do everything He wants and needs to do.  We don’t go the altar, even when we know we should.  We pray, but we don’t pray very deeply – we make sure our focus stays just a little bit on watching our toddler, filling out a tithe envelope, or even just what his happening around us in the service so we don’t ever quite make it to the point of really facing God.  To be completely honest, for most, this careful network of distraction is often so masked in things that seem “important” that we rarely consciously face the fact that we are using them to hide from God.

And as time goes on, staying just a little bit away from the fullness of God’s presence becomes a habit, and the small distractions we engage in become the norm.  Over time, the distance between us and our Lord grows, but so slowly that we never notice.  Weeks go by, then months, sometimes years.  And then one day we realize we no longer have the foggiest idea how to truly get to God, or in some cases, we have been coming to church and have NEVER really let God have free reign to do whatever He wants in our lives.

The wonderful news is that God’s mercy is new every morning. When you decide you are willing to come into His presence and allow everything inside to break, and let the great God of Heaven who loves you do whatever He desires to do in your heart and life, He is waiting and willing.  But you built the walls, so you have to tear them down.  And that begs the question:  how do you tear down walls you cannot physically see or touch?  The answer is simple - have an honest conversation with Him.  He already sees and knows every thought we have, so being honest with Him is for OUR benefit, not His.  The more we lay open before Him, the more He can help.  So start talking.  And during the conversation, refuse to be distracted by anything for any reason.  Let someone else take care of the toddler for a while, pay the tithes after church, let someone else pray with others in the altar...whatever the distractions may be, they have to wait.  You will find that when you are intentional and persistent about reaching out to God with an open heart, He will be more than gracious in helping you get rid of that wall.  And once you get it torn down, it’s time to start a new habit of being consistently vulnerable with God.  And the longer you do it, the easier it gets, until you find that it’s far harder to walk out of the House of God WITHOUT letting Him help you than it is to shy away from His presence, because breaking has become a habit.