“What made you stay in church?”
“What did your parents do that made you want to live for
God after you became an adult?”
I hear these questions fairly often, so I have compiled a
list of things from my childhood I believe were integral in my choices as an
adult. While I am not foolish enough to
believe that a backslidden child is always the result of parenting mistakes, I
do believe there are things that we as adults can do to facilitate kids in
developing a lasting relationship with God.
Please allow me to share my thoughts, and feel free to add yours in the
comments section below.
1.
I was never required to pray at the altar or
elsewhere. When I was young I was
required to go to the altar with my mom so she could keep an eye on me but I didn’t
have to pray. Living for God is a
relationship and we can’t force our children into it. Wisely, my parents exposed me to an
atmosphere that was conducive to prayer and then allowed me to reach out to God
if and when I was ready.
2.
Prayer was an everyday family event. I learned to have a daily prayer life because
every day at 9:00 pm my parents took prayer requests and we spent 30 minutes in
family prayer. I was allowed to pray for
as long as I wished and then was allowed to simply sit quietly while my mom
finished. It ingrained the importance of
prayer, the necessity of DAILY consistency, and it taught me how to pray as I
listened to my parents.
3.
They didn’t make a big fuss when I first began
to seek God. If they had I would have
been embarrassed, but beyond that, I needed to begin building a relationship with
God without the external pressure of “pleasing my parents” or doing it for
accolades.
4.
My parents did not allow me to be baptized
before they were certain I understood the purpose of baptism and its importance. When I was 8 I approached my parents of my
own accord about being baptized. They
didn’t jump on the idea immediately even though I had been going to the altar
and praying for some time. Instead, they
asked a lot of questions and had a very serious conversation with me to make
sure I really knew what I was doing and why.
This not only ensured I didn’t just get wet in a ritual I wasn’t ready
for, it helped instill in me the importance of what I was doing. It is a great disservice to our church kids
to cheat them out of the beautiful experience of knowing their sins are being
washed away by allowing them partake in baptism when they don’t fully
understand. Similarly, my parents were
firm believers that a child should not be baptized until they asked and were
prepared to take it very seriously even if they had received the Holy Ghost. It is crucial that our church kids don’t simply
go through the motions because “this is what we do.” They need to feel the tug of conviction and
have the maturity and understanding to treat the blood that is being applied
with respect.
5.
Church was never optional in our house. If you weren’t running a fever you went to
church. Everything else was of lower
importance.
6.
We didn’t do homework at church. It had to be done before or after. If we dawdled and wasted time so we didn’t
get it done before church, we got our backside paddled and then stayed up late
to finish it, but we weren’t allowed to treat the House of God as secondary to
anything, including education.
7.
We were encouraged to get involved in the work
activities at church. We learned
dedication and the importance of the House of God both by watching our parents’
investment into the Kingdom and by being involved ourselves. I started teaching Sunday School at the ripe
old age of 11. While I can’t say I would
go looking for 11-year-olds to put in Sunday School classrooms, it did me no
harm. As I grew up I continued to take
on more responsibilities in the church.
My time and energy were simultaneously being invested into both the work
of God and my personal walk with God.
8.
My parents were real about living for God. Our kids don’t need “rote answers”. They need to see a real walk with God based
on real life, real Biblical study, and honesty.
I was raised to understand the difference in holiness standards based
scriptural mandate verses those rooted in wisdom and preference, and I was
taught to respect both for what they are.
I learned that real Christians get discouraged, they fail, they repent,
they have times when prayer is hard, and much more.
9.
Living for God was fun in our house. When there were fellowship activities at
church, we participated. My parents made
the necessary sacrifices to make sure we got to youth conferences, fun days,
and activities our church friends were hosting, and if nothing was going on
they hosted parties at our house. Above
all, they refused to treat living for God as a hardship. I once knew someone who was fond of saying, “I
traded my F-U-N for J-O-Y!” I always
felt sorry for them because I got to keep my F-U-N along with the J-O-Y of the
Holy Ghost.
10.
I was raised to know what a “real” move of God
is. I was blessed to grow up in home
missions, so I didn’t have some of the distractions many of our young people
must wade through. We prayed before
church and worshipped until the Power fell.
There were no wild drums and screaming organs to “fake” a move of God for
us. I learned the value of standing
silently with my hands raised and tears streaming down my face along with the importance
of dancing and rejoicing.
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