Church Kid...It's Time We Had a Talk

In October of this year I reworked a post I had previously written for this blog and allowed my husband to publish it on The Bruised Reed.  The original post was written in direct response to questions and concerns that were being brought to me (as the youth director) by the young people of my local church at that time.  It addresses issues such as learning to pray, backsliding, and falling in love with Jesus.  Although I wrote the article for young people, it applies to all of us as we continually strive to live for God.  I am sharing the link again here in hopes that someone who didn't see it on my husband's blog will read it and be encouraged.

Church Kid...It's Time We Had a Talk

10 Things that Helped Me Stay in Church

“What made you stay in church?”

“What did your parents do that made you want to live for God after you became an adult?”

I hear these questions fairly often, so I have compiled a list of things from my childhood I believe were integral in my choices as an adult.  While I am not foolish enough to believe that a backslidden child is always the result of parenting mistakes, I do believe there are things that we as adults can do to facilitate kids in developing a lasting relationship with God.  Please allow me to share my thoughts, and feel free to add yours in the comments section below.

1.       I was never required to pray at the altar or elsewhere.  When I was young I was required to go to the altar with my mom so she could keep an eye on me but I didn’t have to pray.  Living for God is a relationship and we can’t force our children into it.  Wisely, my parents exposed me to an atmosphere that was conducive to prayer and then allowed me to reach out to God if and when I was ready.

2.       Prayer was an everyday family event.  I learned to have a daily prayer life because every day at 9:00 pm my parents took prayer requests and we spent 30 minutes in family prayer.  I was allowed to pray for as long as I wished and then was allowed to simply sit quietly while my mom finished.  It ingrained the importance of prayer, the necessity of DAILY consistency, and it taught me how to pray as I listened to my parents. 

3.       They didn’t make a big fuss when I first began to seek God.   If they had I would have been embarrassed, but beyond that, I needed to begin building a relationship with God without the external pressure of “pleasing my parents” or doing it for accolades. 

4.       My parents did not allow me to be baptized before they were certain I understood the purpose of baptism and its importance.  When I was 8 I approached my parents of my own accord about being baptized.  They didn’t jump on the idea immediately even though I had been going to the altar and praying for some time.  Instead, they asked a lot of questions and had a very serious conversation with me to make sure I really knew what I was doing and why.  This not only ensured I didn’t just get wet in a ritual I wasn’t ready for, it helped instill in me the importance of what I was doing.  It is a great disservice to our church kids to cheat them out of the beautiful experience of knowing their sins are being washed away by allowing them partake in baptism when they don’t fully understand.  Similarly, my parents were firm believers that a child should not be baptized until they asked and were prepared to take it very seriously even if they had received the Holy Ghost.  It is crucial that our church kids don’t simply go through the motions because “this is what we do.”  They need to feel the tug of conviction and have the maturity and understanding to treat the blood that is being applied with respect. 

5.       Church was never optional in our house.  If you weren’t running a fever you went to church.  Everything else was of lower importance.

6.       We didn’t do homework at church.  It had to be done before or after.  If we dawdled and wasted time so we didn’t get it done before church, we got our backside paddled and then stayed up late to finish it, but we weren’t allowed to treat the House of God as secondary to anything, including education.

7.       We were encouraged to get involved in the work activities at church.  We learned dedication and the importance of the House of God both by watching our parents’ investment into the Kingdom and by being involved ourselves.  I started teaching Sunday School at the ripe old age of 11.  While I can’t say I would go looking for 11-year-olds to put in Sunday School classrooms, it did me no harm.  As I grew up I continued to take on more responsibilities in the church.  My time and energy were simultaneously being invested into both the work of God and my personal walk with God.

8.       My parents were real about living for God.  Our kids don’t need “rote answers”.  They need to see a real walk with God based on real life, real Biblical study, and honesty.  I was raised to understand the difference in holiness standards based scriptural mandate verses those rooted in wisdom and preference, and I was taught to respect both for what they are.  I learned that real Christians get discouraged, they fail, they repent, they have times when prayer is hard, and much more.

9.       Living for God was fun in our house.  When there were fellowship activities at church, we participated.  My parents made the necessary sacrifices to make sure we got to youth conferences, fun days, and activities our church friends were hosting, and if nothing was going on they hosted parties at our house.  Above all, they refused to treat living for God as a hardship.  I once knew someone who was fond of saying, “I traded my F-U-N for J-O-Y!”  I always felt sorry for them because I got to keep my F-U-N along with the J-O-Y of the Holy Ghost.

10.   I was raised to know what a “real” move of God is.  I was blessed to grow up in home missions, so I didn’t have some of the distractions many of our young people must wade through.  We prayed before church and worshipped until the Power fell.  There were no wild drums and screaming organs to “fake” a move of God for us.  I learned the value of standing silently with my hands raised and tears streaming down my face along with the importance of dancing and rejoicing.

I am not foolish enough to believe this is a “guaranteed” plan for keeping kids in church, but these factors were significant in helping direct and strengthen my walk with God.  As saints we all have a responsibility to do what we can to help the kids and young people in our churches develop relationships with God that will stand the test of time.  Thank you for reading.